To be or not to be
by AgentOfAngst
Summary: The teenaged triplets compete to be Hamlet in a school play.


**I had this brilliant idea on Tuesday, immediately started writing it, and got a major sense of satisfaction when I remembered that Scrooge's voice actor plays Hamlet in my favorite film adaptation of Hamlet.**

* * *

Hamlet was a masterpiece. Anyone with half a brain could see that. Unfortunately, it seemed like his brothers only had half a brain between them.

Up until this point, Huey had only heard Dewey and Louie gripe and groan whenever they'd had to read Shakespeare for school. Up until this point they'd had no interest in Hamlet. But now, because their high school was putting on a production of it, both boys were auditioning to play the Prince of Denmark. And Huey, a long-time theatre aficionado was not about to be humiliated by any half-wit Hamlets. So he threw his hat into the ring as well, hoping to swallow his stage fright and bring dignity to Denmark.

Breakfast was tense. The three teens spent it glowering at each other, waiting for one of them to break.

Huey and Dewey were always the ones who argued, Louie usually kept quiet and schemed.

"Why would you steal my dream?" Dewey snapped at Huey.

"Your dream? What dream?" Huey scoffed.

"Of being a performer!"

"We're Juniors in high school! There have been plenty of plays! I don't know why you have to force your way into this one!"

"Because it's cool! It's about murdering your uncle!" Uncle Donald choked on his coffee and Louie gave him a sly, mischievous wink.

"First of all, that's not the only thing that happens in Hamlet. Secondly, you literally hated Hamlet when we read it for school."

"I was younger then!"

"That was last year!"

"And I was younger." Huey fumed into his cereal.

"I was in a production of Hamlet once," Uncle Scrooge said proudly from his place at the head of the table, "I would be happy to rehearse with any of you lads." He was mostly ignored.

"Do you even think you could memorize that many lines?" Huey challenged smugly.

"Do you think you could even perform that many lines?" Dewey mocked. Huey fell silent, glowering.

"Boys there's no need to argue over this, just do your best," Uncle Donald encouraged.

"Yeah, yeah, we're going to be late for school."

"Bye Uncle Donald!" The triplets muttered, leaving for school. Huey and Dewey were at each other's throats the whole time.

"Is that normal?" Della asked, pretending to not be hurt by her kiddos not saying goodbye to her. She'd been back for five years, but Donald still had three times the experience and so she still went to him for advice.

"Huey and Dewey fighting over something stupid? Very normal." Donald sighed.

"Should I do something?"

"Only if it turns violent."

"They'll be fine," Scrooge said, "those boys sort themselves out every time, I've never seen an argument last more than an hour."

"You're delusional," Donald contributed to Scrooge, striking up his own argument with his Uncle.

"Sometimes Huey remembers a sandcastle Dewey knocked over when they were five and still gets mad. That was ten years ago."

"So there's a temper on the older two, they get it from you," Scrooge pointed out. Donald huffed and went to his houseboat. Della wished that the problem was adventure-based, and not about sandcastles or Shakespeare. She didn't know what she could offer, and she didn't know if she should wait to intervene until things got violent, because, if she remembered right, Hamlet was a violent play. Not as violent as the Scottish play, but still violent. And also very weird…

It was Monday, their audition was on Friday, it had been more than an hour, and Huey and Dewey were still arguing.

"Boys, I'm thrilled about your enthusiasm for the theatre, but you should accept that you have equal chances to be Hamlet and just do your best," Della pleaded to Huey and Dewey as they squabbled.

Dewey and Huey both looked at her incredulously, saying in unison, "Equal chances? I'm better than him!" Then they stormed off in different directions.

Louie, who had previously been quiet, looked at her sadly, "Glad to know that you don't think I can land this audition."

Della went to her room to lie face down on the bed and scream. How was this even harder than it had been five years ago? Her boys were so complicated and every other day it felt like she was failing them. Donald and Scrooge were supportive, but they couldn't clear away every hurdle she had to face.

Dewey and Huey were locked in a fierce competition, memorizing lines during every spare moment. Della heard them muttering monologues in their sleep. They hadn't talked to her since Monday and Louie, who had always been the most distant, was more closed off than ever. She couldn't stand it. She forced her way into their bedroom on Thursday, interrupting rehearsal and demanding their attention.

"Boys, I love you, and I'm so proud of all of you, but the drama should happen on stage, not at the breakfast table. I don't want you kids fighting over this role. Huey, Dewey, Louie, why don't you say why each of you wants the role?" She hoped that would be enough to get them to see from each other's perspectives.

"I love Shakespeare, I wasn't about to sit back and watch them butcher such an important role." Della winced, wishing Huey had stopped at, "I love Shakespeare."

"I was born to be an actor, Huey can't perform worth anything, he's going to mess up on stage." This was another time when the sentence should've ended sooner.

Fortunately, Louie's comment wasn't disrespectful toward his brothers, "I want to be a Prince."

Unfortunately, Louie's comment ended up attracting a barrage of insults from his brothers.

"You haven't even studied the lines," Huey shouted.

"You're not passionate about performing!" Dewey shouted, somehow thinking that a guy who was always putting on an act wasn't passionate about performing. Della looked stunned at the furthered outbursts, but Louie shrugged it off.

"I'm going to bed. We have an audition tomorrow."

Della was honestly just looking forward to this fiasco to be over. Hopefully, once the roles were handed out this wouldn't become another sandcastle issue.

Obviously, they didn't find out the day of auditions who got the part, but having finally auditioned and each done a fairly good job, their anger and egos had subsided a bit. I mean, Louie was still acting like he both did and didn't care, but Huey and Dewey had cooled down and congratulated each other on their auditions.

"You were really good, Louie," Huey said meekly, feeling bad about his slightly irrational tirades.

"Thanks, ditto," Louie was inwardly smirking. Maybe his interest had been piqued by the opportunity to play a prince, but his motivation had changed when his brothers had neglected to consider him competition for the role. If even his own mom didn't think he had a chance, then he was going to do everything in his power to be in that play.

"I didn't know you'd even read Hamlet." Louie's expression didn't change, though he shrugged a little. He'd listened to the audiobook three times since Monday, plus he'd been running lines with Uncle Scrooge. Those words, words, words were burned into his brain until the day he died. If he didn't get the role he would just become Hamlet because otherwise, this information in his head was useless. Although to be fair, most of the stuff in his head was useless.

To literally everyone's surprise except for Louie and Scrooge, the part went to the youngest triplet, with Huey and Dewey in respectable supporting roles. Huey and Dewey congratulated him and finally apologized to each other, and Della gave him a big hug.

"I knew you could do it, Louie."

Louie cracked a sad smile, hugging back, "Sure you did, mom. Just remember that I'm an actor now and never mistake my act for apathy." Della didn't let go of him for a few seconds longer, still just trying her best.

"We'll be at every show," she promised, making a second, secret promise that she'd learn to differentiate Louie's act from how he really felt.


End file.
